Are you an optimist or a pessimist? And why should you care?

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Have you ever wondered why some people feel down and defeated when faced with difficult situations, while others feel challenged and hopeful? Or why some people get all worked up and angry over small inconveniences and disagreements, while others respond more positively?

Every decision in life that we make is based on our view of the options. We each have our own lenses, if you will, through which we see our choices. They form our perception of the world as either optimistic or pessimistic. When clouds of concern sweep into your emotional life, do you complain about them blocking the sun? Do you search the clouds for the silver lining of opportunity, or even look forward to the rain?

A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities and an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties. Harry Truman

Obviously, the majority of us have a little bit of both of these characteristics. Which one we let define our general attitude, has a great influence on how well we do in life. For most of us, it’s an ongoing struggle between the two. It’s much easier to be a pessimist. It’s also easier to find friends in this group.

The question is can you have a successful life as a pessimist? By success, we mean can you set goals, and actually follow through to achieve them with a pessimistic attitude? The odds are greatly stacked against you.

Being optimistic can, however, be taken to extremes that are just stupid. We’ve all been subjected to people saying things like “there are no such things as problems, just opportunities”. Being optimistic isn’t all about running around, spewing quotes that make all your friends and family roll their eyes at you.

At the same time, are you the one that always gives pessimistic advice? When someone has an idea, are you the one that tries to “bring them back to reality” and can find nothing positive in their concept? We’ve probably all been guilty of that before.

In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip. Daniel L. Reardon

Being optimistic is better for you and everyone around you. Negativity sucks the life blood out of everything. Researchers have found that people who are pessimistic are generally more realistic about life. Optimists tend to gloss over obstacles and minimise problems. They sometimes don’t create a balanced picture of circumstances can tend to idealise situations disproportionately.

However, optimists are generally more successful and accomplish much more than their pessimistic siblings - in spite of their lack of objectivity. The reason for this is that the optimist ignores some of the negative facts and weighs the positive aspects of the situation more heavily. They tend to accomplish things that their pessimistic friends don’t even attempt. In fact, they often accomplish the seemingly impossible.

These studies present each of us with a very important choice between being optimistic or pessimistic. Which will it be for you? If you want to be more optimistic, we’ve given you some hints below about how to revitalise your positive predisposition.

"You can believe you can, or you can believe you can’t, either way you will be correct." Henry Ford

A healthy dose of optimism can be uplifting and hopeful, while a healthy dose of pessimism can be realistic and wise. Achieving a balance of being realistic and hopeful can be a challenge.

The first step to optimism is to identify the thoughts and beliefs running through your mind after something unpleasant happens. How did you interpret the event? Write out all of your beliefs and read them over. Then separate your feelings from your beliefs, because you won't be challenging your feelings; what you feel is what you feel.

Next, write down all your feelings about the event and how you responded. Do this for a few unpleasant situations, such as an argument with your partner, a work conflict, and getting a parking ticket. You might begin to see a pattern in how you interpret and react to events, and this will help you to become aware of, and to change patterns.

If you do have pessimistic thoughts, it can help just to be aware that you think that way. Next time your thoughts jump to something like "I never get my way," "Nothing ever gets any better," or "People are always mean to me," try to distract yourself from your pessimistic beliefs or dispute them. Disputing pessimistic beliefs will bring deeper, longer lasting results than distracting will, but distraction can also be effective, and sometimes easier.

Disputing pessimistic beliefs involves replacing them with alternative, kinder, and more realistic explanations. For example, if you have an argument with your partner, you might immediately think: "S/he never understands me! I'm always the one who ends up apologising. In the heat of an argument, it's hard to think rationally. But if you step back and think about the situation more realistically, you might find that your thoughts become more positive. For instance, you might tell yourself, "We just had an argument, and while s/he wasn't very understanding, neither was I. S/he's understood me lots of other times, and will probably understand me again once we've both cooled off. We've always been able to work through our problems before. I know we can again."

Maintaining a hopeful, positive, yet real perspective in the face of adversity can be a real challenge - one many are facing right now in the world - but it is essential to living peacefully and happily. Just as it is important to recognise what is unjust and unfair in our lives and the world, it is equally important to see the beauty, love, generosity, and goodness as well. Being gentle and loving with ourselves when we make mistakes, or when bad things happen is key to being hopeful and optimistic.

Here are some contrasts between optimism and pessimism and how they affect us:

Optimism breathes life into you each day
Pessimism drains you
Optimism helps you to take needed risks
Pessimism plays it safe and never accomplishes much
Optimism improves those around you
Pessimism drags them down
Optimism inspires people to great heights
Pessimism deflates people to new lows

Have you ever met a successful pessimist? Become an optimist and see your world change before your eyes! And even if you're not sure it's possible, you can do it!

It doesn't hurt to be optimistic. You can always cry later. Lucimar Santos de Lima